I have class every night this week…and every week.

a new paper in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research suggests that — for reasons that aren’t entirely clear — abstaining from alcohol does actually tend to increase one’s risk of dying even when you exclude former drinkers. The most shocking part? Abstainers’ mortality rates are higher than those of heavy drinkers.

One double Knob Creek on the rocks please!

Mmmm….Necronomicon….DOH!

If I enter my house to find my wife in bed with another man, and she says, “My God, your mustache looks incredible.” Is she merely trying to distract me while she throws on her clothes and her lover escapes out the bathroom window? Or does my mustache just look particularly sharp that day?

When I arrive to my father’s house and I find his mustache waxed and curled at the tips and him wearing a T-shirt that reads “My ‘stache is better than my son’s.” Should I view this as an insult or as a playful competition? If it is harmless, why then does he offer me a glass of milk, which is quite obviously Nair?